The police force is a noble breed
who safely guard our streets
Their valor is unquestioned
and they’re noted for the feats
If anything you wish to know,
they’ll tell you with a grin
In fact each one of them is a complete inquire-within
If you want to know the time, ask a…

Policeman, you’re working for the government
Policeman, that uniform is excellent
Policeman, protect us from the junkies
Policeman says “Je t’adore le muzak funky”

Oh, policeman, I’d love to spend the evening
snorting cocaine off the stomach of your girlfriend
Then maybe later, we can listen to the Residents
then you will say to me “Let’s use the bathtub”

Policeman, you’re working for the government
Policeman, that uniform is excellent
Policeman, protect us from the junkies
Policeman says “You postpunk kids are cheeky monkeys”

Meanwhile, in bedrooms round the country
Giro checks and TVs reeducate the youngsters
I get a shiver when the Yankee bands get visas
but there’s no payment, no nothing for policeman

That sheer mentality is nasty, but essential
Without the police force, John says we’d all go mental
DIY, EMI, that’s still important
Your anesthetic is a rap from the policeman